DIAMONDS AND RUST, EMILY
by Neffer-Tari
Summary: "We know what memories bring". S8


Hello everyone!

I decided to pay a tribute to Joan Baez because her relation with Dylan really touched me and I ended up taking the chance and mingled Criminal Minds with it, since I miss Emily like Hell – the show seems kind of empty and lifeless without her (though I'm trying to ignore it).

**I STRONGLY advise you to listen to "Diamonds and Rust" by Joan Baez** while you read this, otherwise it may seem it lacks something. Here is the (half)link to make your life easier, just take off the spaces: w w w . yt . /watch?v=dcaZi_G3xVs

**That's all, thank you for reading and, if you feel this deserves it, please review!**

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds, or Joan Baez's song, does not belong to me; neither does half of this fanfiction, since it was inspired in both of them.

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**DIAMONDS AND RUST, EMILY **

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It was utterly dark outside when Reid arrived home. Through the windows, the moonlight tried effortlessly to lit the living room. He didn't care about the amount of light that was lacking, he had gotten used to it. After throwing keys and wallet to the usual little table near the entrance door, he kept going to his kitchen, intending to grab a cup of milk. He did so and then returned to place he was before, submerging in darkness along with it.

Somewhere in a shelf near the television, the telephone rang. Without moving, he listened until the end.

"_Hi, this is Spencer. Please leave a message and I'll reach you later. Thanks"_

A pause.

"_I know you won't"_, said a limpid woman's voice while the red recording light shined in the electronical device. Mockingly, Reid smiled. Of course he wouldn't. _"Even so, I need to know that you're okay. Please say something…"_ She knew he was there, she always had known, during all those unanswered messages she chose to leave.

Her ghost always used to come back at those times – at the darkest times. She had the touch to know when he'd be in need of some kind of comfort, even if the one in question was not welcomed. Plainly and truthfully, Reid was aware that she only called when she wanted, just like the wind blew when it decided to do so. Nevertheless, she did it with a scary precision.

Damned and selfish cockiness, Reid thought and gulped bitterly. Clingingly holding his mug, he sat still on the floor, back against the window bathed in moonlight darkness.

That mean woman came into his life like a thunderstorm. He clearly recalled the rare raven of her hair and the poisonous blackness of her eyes. The devious smile, the kind touch and her beautifully sheltered soul... It was like an enchanting curse, from the very beginning. Yes, when she first arrived, she was already majestic and recognized for her work. Who would ever tame her? So wildly genuine and graceful, she feared nothing and needed no one.

He sighed, where are you calling from, anyways, Emily?

"_Oh, changed my mind, keep your lousy poetry to yourself"_ she asked, half joking half serious, and he felt disgusted by the fact that she knew him so well. _"I'm calling from Kansas City this time, but you know this does not matter". _True, he knew. He knew how much she desired to have a steady home and a reliable family. However, they kept on dragging her from place to place, that unbearable storm.

They dragged her away from the BAU. They dragged her away from him.

He felt nauseous, sick to his core.

Whilst it lasted, she fell into his arms seeking not protection, but warmness. He gave it all as they mingled and exchanged secrets and lives. It'd felt so rational and so emotionally right that it had hurt. Emily would never really know how deeply - how dearly - he had loved her… and that was ok.

"_Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm nostalgic"_, she tried to convince _"I'm just a little unsteady and apprehensive"_ He could tell the big fat lie in that voice he'd known so well, even though she was tremendously good at manipulating words…

But it's ok to lie Emily, Reid mentally answered, leaning his head against the window. Sooner or later everyone has to pay for what memories bring to us.

"_Never mind, I guess this is all I wanted to say, call me back if… well…"_

They bring diamonds and rust that I've already paid... right?

"_Goodbye Reid"_

Goodbye Em.

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